Actually, there are no words to really explain how I feel most days as a mom. Sometimes my husband comes home to a clean house and happy children. Others (more often these days) he comes home to a house with someone screaming in time-out, another yelling in the high-chair for more whatever, and one asking 500 more questions...plus a messy home and an exhausted wife who is
But, then something happened the other night.
I have been constantly thinking/praying about my brother, Brendan, lately... And wondering how in the world my mother is handling this? He leaves for Basic, like, right after graduation. Like, 4-5 days later.. And the way this insane world is right now, we have a pretty good idea of where he would be headed after training... (Don't get me wrong, we FULLY support him. It's just, you know... Let's just say the news is no longer on at my house.)
While I was talking to her and asking a million questions, I really didn't like her answers. But, as the oldest and the only girl...that's just me. I have to have my way some how, right? Anyway, she said that while it is the hardest thing she has had to do at the current moment, this is her job as a mom. She spent most of his life teaching him, protecting him, caring for him, etc. And, while it completely seems to contradict everything that she has done, she knows it is time to let him go.
Hours after this conversation, I remembered a another one. While chatting with my mother-in-law, Sarah, about her boys, I asked her about when Jason moved away for college. And when Justin, his brother, moved even further away and saw, like, the whole world. Really. (He's been China and stuff. Very cool...and scary!) How was she ok with that? She also knew it was time. She said it was time to give him back to God in a sense.
I realized at this moment, remembering all of these words, why I didn't like their answers...
One day her words will be my words.
One day I will have to know when it is time to let go. One day I may have to sign papers to give one of my boys to the Armed Forces. One day I may have to just let my child spread their wings to study abroad.
And that "one day" is going to come a lot faster than I think (or even want it to).
I just hope and pray whenever that "one day" comes, I can be as strong at these two mothers.